


A Hell of a Dream

by allfordean



Series: Fic Requests [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Human Castiel, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-21
Updated: 2015-04-21
Packaged: 2018-03-25 02:31:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3793351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allfordean/pseuds/allfordean
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on a fic request from <a href="http://wingsdestiel.tumblr.com">wingsdestiel</a>.</p>
<p>The memories came back to him in the form of dreams. But Dean didn’t recognize them for what they were right away.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Hell of a Dream

The memories came back to him in the form of dreams. But Dean didn’t recognize them for what they were right away. He tossed and turned in bed, clutching the sheets as the dark colors of hell flashed through his subconscious mind. “No,” he cried. “No.”

He sat up with a shout, blinking as his eyes adjusted to the dim light of his room at the bunker.

“Dean?” Sam’s worried voice came from the hall, his brother appearing at his door within seconds, a gun ready in his hands. “Dean, what happened?”

“Just a dream, Sammy. I’m fine.”

Sam thinned his lips, giving his brother a sympathetic frown. “You sure?”

“Yeah. Go back to bed, man.”

Nodding, Sam backed out of his room. “Yeah. Okay. You, too, then. If you can.”

_If I can,_ Dean thought to himself as his brother turned down the hall. _Good point._ The hunter settled back against his pillow and let out a shaky breath.

 

The next night was weird. _Really_ weird. Dean dreamt that he was in hell again, but he wasn’t alone. Cas was there, trying to reason with him. Dean was torturing souls. He shifted in his sleep, a small “no” leaving his lips as he remembered slicing and dicing his victims. 

 

_“Dean Winchester. Your time in hell is over. Come with me,” Castiel said. But his voice was… unfamiliar. In the dream, it was like Dean had never heard it before. Like Cas had never_ spoken _before._

_Dean refused, but Castiel fought him, a look of concern on his face as he pried him away from his torture devices. There were demons approaching from the background, but, in a flash, Cas took Dean elsewhere._

_“We are safe, for now,” Castiel told him._

_“Who the hell are you?” Dean demanded._

_“I am the angel Castiel, and I am here to raise you from perdition.”_

 

Dean woke, a puzzled frown on his face. “What the hell?”

 

He zoned out at breakfast, only vaguely aware of Castiel saying his name. The scenery around him changed, and he was back in hell. Or, at least, he was pretty sure it was hell. They seemed to be traveling through hidden passageways.

 

_“Why the hell are you trying to pull me out, anyway, huh?” Dean asked._

_“I was ordered to. By heaven.”_

_“Yeah, I’m still not buying the whole ‘angel’ thing. If there were angels, if there was a God… I wouldn’t be here right now.”_

_“We’re working on that,” Cas pointed out._

_“Yeah, well. You were a little late,” Dean said, gesturing at the blood that still covered his clothes._

_“Your soul is not irreparable. You are still a righteous man.”_

_“I sure as hell don’t feel that way,” the hunter mumbled, his lip trembling._

_Castiel put a firm hand on his shoulder, and looked him in the eye. “You are a good man, Dean.”_

 

“Dean. _Dean_.”

Castiel’s voice pulled him from his daydream, and Dean shook his head as he blinked. “Sorry, man, I… I don’t know what happened.”

Eyeing the hunter, Castiel tilted his head and frowned. “Are you feeling alright?”

“Yeah, I’m… fine. Just zoned out a little,” Dean said. “I didn’t get much sleep last night.”

“Nightmares,” Cas said, giving his friend a solemn nod.

“What?”

“Sam told me you had a nightmare the other night. I’m assuming it happened again.”

Dean clenched his jaw, looking away. “Yeah, it, uh… I keep dreaming about hell.”

Cas leaned back in his chair, straightening his posture. “Hell?”

“Yeah. It’s… it’s weird.” Dean took a deep breath, then added, “I feel like it’s too clear to be a dream, but I’m not sure what else it could be. I mean, they can’t be memories. I remember _plenty_ about hell, believe me. This wasn’t part of the experience.”

“What, um… What have you been dreaming about?”

“Hell, Cas. Thought we’d established that.”

“I meant specifically.”

“Does it matter?”

Castiel looked away. “Perhaps not,” he mumbled.

 

Dean went about the rest of his day as if he was okay, but the subject matter of his dreams had really shaken him up. He was wary of going to sleep that night, but when he finally did, he was pleasantly surprised by how peaceful a dream about hell could be.

 

_“Have you ever been on Earth, Cas?” Dean asked as he ran his hand over the dirty wall he’d been leaning against._

_“No,” Castiel replied. “I’ve been stationed in heaven for as long as I can remember.”_

_“I bet that’s a long time.”_

_“It is.” Castiel glanced around, then nodded, taking Dean’s arm and pulling him along. “We should keep moving.”_

_“Yes, sir.”_

_“You’re making fun of me again, aren’t you?”_

_Dean smirked. “Gee, Cas, you know me so well.”_

_“I’ve spent what would be the equivalent of five months on Earth with you,” Castiel said, continuing to walk. “I would expect to know you quite well by now.”_

_“And yet I still don’t know much about you,” Dean grumbled, following close behind the angel. “Go figure.”_

_“There isn’t much to know about me.” Castiel thought a moment, then added, “It’s only since I’ve met you that my existence has gained any real meaning.”_

_“Aw, that’s sweet, Cas.”_

_“Is that another usage of sarcasm?”_

_“No. Well, yeah, sort of. But I meant it. That’s, uh…,” Dean rubbed the back of his neck, beginning to blush. “I’m glad I gave your life some sort of purpose.”_

_“No, I’ve had purpose,” Castiel corrected. “For millennia, I had orders to obey. I think that could be considered ‘purpose’. But you…,” Cas stopped, turning to face Dean. A hint of a smile crossed his face as he said, “You made it all_ matter _. I owe you for that.”_  

 

The dreams kept getting weirder. Awkward, even. By the sixth night, Cas was touching him. Not in a particularly sexual way, but in a way that he never had outside of Dean’s dreams. A lingering hand on the arm, a press of his lips to Dean’s forehead, their hands intertwined as they snuck around Lucifer’s playground. He’d whisper directions in Dean’s ear, telling him where they were headed next. When they came across demons, Castiel beat the shit out of anyone who tried to hurt Dean in any capacity.

 

“You okay, Dean?” Sam asked one evening, frowning at his brother. “Have you been sleeping normally?”

Looking up from his dinner, Dean glanced at Cas before nodding. “Yeah, I’m fine. Don’t worry about me, Sammy.”

“Have you been dreaming, Dean?” Castiel asked, his brow furrowing as he looked at the hunter intently.

Dean bit his lip. “Yeah, I guess.”

“You… guess?” Sam asked, quirking a brow. “Are we talking about those nightmares again? Because if you need-”

“I’m fine, Sam. It’s not that big of a deal.”

“What… What’s been happening, Dean?” Castiel asked, tentative. “In your dreams, I mean.”

Dean looked anywhere but at Cas as he shrugged. “Dunno.”

“Dean…”

“I don’t want to talk about it, Cas. It’s… Trust me, it doesn’t matter. They’re just dreams.”

Castiel nodded, dropping his gaze down to his plate. “Right, just dreams. Of course.”

Dean looked up at his friend with narrowed eyes, but said nothing more. _He’s definitely holding something back_ , he thought to himself. He considered dragging him to another room for questioning, but figured it wasn’t worth it. Cas looked pretty uncomfortable, and Dean didn’t want to give the once-again fallen angel anything else to worry about.

 

A few days later, the dreams took an… unexpected turn.

 

_“You are an astounding being, Dean Winchester,” Castiel told him._

_“How’s that?” Dean asked, his voice fond as he wrapped an arm around the angel’s side._

_“You’ve managed to elicit… feelings from me. Feelings that I’ve never before experienced. That I never knew I_ could _experience.”_

_Dean beamed. “Yeah, well. It’s not like you haven’t done the same for me.”_

_“Have I?” Cas was looking into Dean’s eyes as though they were the most amazing thing he’d seen in all of his father’s creation._

_“Yeah. I mean, you’re an angel, Cas. Talk about a change of perspective.”_

_“Is that all?”_

_“Not quite.”_

_“What else?”_

_“I don’t know how to say it,” Dean said, blushing. “Maybe…,” he sucked in a breath. “Maybe I should just show you.” Dean then leaned in and kissed Castiel with all he had, grunting when the angel pulled at the back of his neck to kiss him harder._

_Cas didn’t bother to pull away as he mumbled against the hunter’s lips, “I believe I love you, Dean.”_

 

Dean woke with the lingering feeling of the angel’s lips on his own. “Cas,” he breathed. It took him a moment to realize he had been dreaming, and he sat up, startled. “That was too real.” He scrambled out of bed and stomped over to Castiel’s room for some answers.

“What the hell is going on?” Dean demanded, trying and failing to remain calm.

Castiel, startled, sat up in bed and blinked as his eyes adjusted to the light. “Dean? What do you mean? What’s wrong?”

“These dreams I’ve been having. They’re… They’re not just dreams, are they?”

Thinning his lips, Castiel couldn’t hold the hunter’s gaze. “Dean…”

“They’re memories.”

Castiel’s silence was confirmation enough. He looked anywhere but at Dean as he whispered, “Dean, I-”

“I _kissed_ you, Cas,” Dean said, throwing an arm in the air. “That was _years_ ago. I kissed you. You said you _loved_ me. Why didn’t you ever tell me?!”

Meeting Dean’s glare, Castiel got out of bed and moved to stand a foot away from the hunter. “Imagine being in my position, Dean! I fell in love with a human, and when I brought him out of hell, he didn’t remember me.” Cas was fighting back tears as he whimpered, “You didn’t remember any of it. You stabbed me, Dean!”

Dean’s expression softened as his heart sank. “Cas-”

“No, listen,” Cas said sternly. “Now you know the truth. And after years of being my friend, you must be disgusted. This is exactly what I was afraid-”

“Disgusted? You think I’m disgusted?”

Castiel blinked, unclenching his fists as he dropped his shoulders. “...You’re… not?”

“I’m not,” Dean said, his voice soft as he took a few steps closer to Castiel. “I’m frustrated.”

“F-frustrated?”

“You knew this entire time. You had all these memories, for years, and you…,” the hunter sucked in a shaky breath. “I was holding back because I thought you’d be disgusted with me. I never thought you’d want this.”

“I never told you because I thought _you’d_ be disgusted with _me_. That you’d changed your mind since hell, and that you could never love me that way on Earth.”

“Well, you were wrong.”

Castiel nodded, lowering his gaze to the ground. “We both were. And we wasted so much time because of it.”

Dean couldn’t bear to think about that. He couldn’t imagine what his life would be like if he’d been closer to Cas all those years. Would he have taken the mark? Would they have gone to purgatory? How much pain could they have avoided if they’d just… _Stop it,_ Dean told himself. _We’re here now._ “So,” he breathed. “Now what?”

“Now…,” Cas leaned closer to the hunter. “If you… want-”

“I want.”

Castiel nodded, breathing a sigh of relief as he rushed forward and pressed his lips to Dean’s. He kissed him with an urgency, as if they wouldn’t have another chance. He let out a muffled sob against Dean’s neck. “I’ve missed this,” he whispered. “I’ve… I-”

“I love you, Cas,” Dean said, rubbing the other man’s back as he cried. “I’m sorry you had to wait so long to hear me say it. But you’ve got me now. ‘Til the day I die, you’ve got me.”

Since it was still early, Castiel pulled Dean back into his bed and wrapped his arms around him. “I love you, too, you know.”

“I know, Cas,” Dean smiled, sighing as he closed his eyes. “I remember.”

 


End file.
